By contributor Patrick Zabriskie
Review: Well, no film review website is complete without a review of this “gem”, so allow me to contribute one to the Silver Mirror. Similar to my review of ‘Django’, there’s no point in reviewing this film seriously. It’s cheap, it’s cliché, it’s meshing of gothic horror and science fiction feels awkward at best, and the story, if you’re determined enough to follow it, just doesn’t make a lot of sense. Yes, ‘Plan 9’ is a horrible movie, and its director, Edward D. Wood Jr., was a bad director; but you miss the point if that’s all you see.
Even as we mock and ridicule him, there is something to remember about Ed Wood before completing writing him off — he lived the dream. Whether you can stand to watch his films or not, they are the hard-earned treasures for a man who fought against the studios and “won” (I use that term loosely.)
James and I can attest to this through our work in S&T Pictures: Even now, in a world of digital cameras and editing software, it’s not easy making movies. They require time, money and resources; and for the silver screen that almost always means having to appeal to a studio, even if it’s just a small one, for funding and support. And that’s not easy. Studios, after all, are at least as interested in making a profit as they are in telling a story — often times more — and if you aren’t a big name, or your story doesn’t have enough commercial viability, you’re out of luck. Heck, even being a big name won’t help you sometimes. George Lucas, the man who almost single handedly reinvented Hollywood, was turned down by major studios for his film, ‘Red Tails’. That shows you how unwilling most studios are to take the slightest risk.
This was the situation of Ed Wood. The studios, even the independents, wouldn’t touch him. His 1953 endeavor, ‘Glen or Glenda’ — a film of his that actually did have a separate producer — is bold, uncompromising and completely unwatchable. It seemed to forever earn him hatred and distrust from studio Hollywood.
What was a man like Ed Wood to do? Self-finance. Sometimes he had to stoop pretty low to get money, but he got it, and he made his films. Even if they’re considered the worst ever made, he did make them. This is the American Dream, folks. It’s not all glittery and made of gold, but it’s there and it works.
This brings us to ‘Plan 9 from Outer Space’, a film he supposedly made with funds from a church in Hollywood, promising them religious films with the profits from this one.*
The film’s premise of aliens resurrecting the earth’s dead (well, three people at least), combines sci-fi and horror mainly so that Ed Wood could continue to use actors he already knew and footage he had already shot. Bela Lugosi of ‘Dracula’ fame, who had starred in two other Ed wood films, returns here as one of the resurrected dead, although this is really just pre-shot footage of him, done before his death in 1956 (three years prior to the film’s release). Other actors include sexy television hostess Vampira, psychic Criswell and wrestler Tor Johnson. It goes without saying, but none of these people, nor the “aliens” who look exactly like human beings, can act. The footage of Lugosi, probably not amounting to more than three minutes (a double was used for the rest of the film), at least seems a little credible. Lugosi had once been a good actor.
Should I talk about the effects? It seems worth mentioning. They are pretty bad, even by 1950’s standards. Model spaceships fly on visible strings in front of obvious photos and paintings; the interiors of these space ships look like office buildings with giant radios sitting in the corner. The graveyard set where the dead are resurrected is obviously fake, with plywood gravestones set on stands that are visible all too often.
The whole thing feels feigned and artificial, and believe me, it is bad. But is it the worst? No.
Think about it: Ed Wood may have been a skilless director, but then again, his films were made on budgets of mere thousands and schedules of mere days. He didn’t have the time for reshoots, nor the money for special effects. T hat he produced what he did given those limitations is actually sort of impressive. Compare this to ‘The Room’, a film that far more deserves the title of worst movie ever made; if for no other reason than because Tommy Wiseau somehow sank six million dollars into it; and that movie didn’t even have any special effects. Or compare ‘Plan 9’ to the latest ‘Transformers’ movie. Can you honestly say that THAT movie makes any more sense than ‘Plan 9’ does? That it’s any more watchable? That it’s any less stupid, cliché? And that movie had a budget of hundreds of millions. Pound for pound, there are a good many movies that are better qualified to be called the worst ever.
Ed Wood was a man who was rejected by the system, fought back, and had something to show for it. That he hung in there for as long as he did is commendable, even if his films are not. Still, there’s a certain hilarious charm to them, and ‘Plan 9’ in particular. So, if you can stomach it, you might just enjoy giving this one a go.
*The wondrous trust and gullibility of people before the Internet…